What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 21.06.2025 09:45
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
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Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
What is the best way to get over your ex?
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Make Nazis afraid again!
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
How come Taiwan is LGBT friendly, yet Japan and South Korea are not?
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Laborum vero molestiae dolorem tenetur doloribus delectus.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
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Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
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¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
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Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
What are some good sunscreens for a teen with oily skin?
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
TEXT:
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.